Saturday, November 13, 2010
And I stayed up since three am in the morning!
What was I thinking?
I am really tired mentally, emotionally and physically!
Why?
Because I think too much!
And yes I did only because I give a fuck about what has been going on lately only to discover that I'm heart-broken!
I just have no idea why is it so hard for people to treasure one's presence and not take advantage of what they have, and not regret in the end, when everything's over?
I need to knock some sense into these people!
Am I too ugly or something? Cause if I am, I'll do something about it!
Am I vulnerable or stupid? Cause I might just be numb and be mean to you!
It hurts so fucking bad and I just want you to know that!
I have been giving in alot, and I can name you the events in detail of which I did just that and you'll be surprised trust me!
I deserve better treatment than this, I know so because I have given you everything!
Love, care, concern, attention, affection, name it!
But that isn't good enough?
If that's the case, go marry a barbie doll or someone who can condone to whatever it is that you wish/desire!
I have had enough, I swear!
Friends; HELP!!
I really need to start a fresh, I really need to move on!
Time heals all wounds,
xoxo~
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Time check; 2.34 am ;)
I still can't sleep, what is wrong with me?
Have I gone mad or something?
Honestly I just can't describe this feeling right now,
And boy I hate it when I'm all emotional!
Bummer~
It seems that something's amiss!
I had a shoot in school today and it went well thank God!
And headed straight to meet bestie at town and had dinner at Mac ;)
I just feel as though I am at a losing end,
Bestie's not with me, I am busy with school and work and I still wanna make myself busy eventhough my schedule is packed!
I just can't sit down and think!
I don't work that way!
My God!
It's so frustrating!
Knowing the fact that I don't have my best friend in the world by my side 24/7!
It is seriously killing me!
I am paranoid and I have to admit, I am feeling lonely!
Deep down only God knows how much I have suffered!
Please, God, hear my prayers, please make me a stronger person!
I can never lie to myself..
Depression
Saturday, November 6, 2010
One day my patience with you will run out, and i will punch you in the face!
You really tested my patience!
I wish I could strangle you or cut you into pieces!
Just don't test me, it's my second day at work and you gave me "that look"
I have had enough of you doing that in school, laughing along with your friends and now at work?
Fuck you la bitch!
If you want to talk about me, say it in front of my face, suar!
You don't have the guts right? That's the problem!
You think too highly of yourself, and so what if you are some kind of good descent girl but you don't act like one?
If you want my respect, EARN IT!
Get it?
I don't need another enemy because I have plenty, and it's not something to be proud of!
I am fuming mad at you because I don't know what your problem is, woman!
And I'll create a scene, soon, pretty soon, if you don't stop your crap!
;)
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Watching Harry Potter with love now,
I missed spending quality time with him,
It seems that we're always busy doing our own things and tomorrow we'll be busy again!
Woke up at 8.30 in the morning, since I am supposed to accompany love to Jb!
As promised, I woke up instantly, on my notebook and then tweet, followed by sharing a quote in facebook and went for a quick shower before love starts nagging ;p
So I was told we were just going there to pump petrol but as usual, I changed plans!
I was so happy my day wasn't disturbed by anyone (esp mom ;p) and that I was able to spent quality time with love so we decided to go shopping at City Sq!
I was pretty excited upon reaching the destination, since I love being in Msia!
Everyone was so friendly and nice, and I love the environment there,
Malaysians are so polite!
And we had lunch at Marry brown, and the moment I saw "buai buai" I screamed!
And as usual, Muhammad Hazwan had to tolerate my nonsense and dined with me,
Because I will retaliate if he doesn't, so he knows me well and just agreed!
I was so "JAKUN" and kept swinging all the way, even when we were eating!
Everyone looked at me and I just couldn't be bothered! Who am I to kid? I'm childish but that's not the point! The point is that we don't have that in Singapore!
So after which, we headed to SASA to get my lashes and then I got my make up case!
We went to Watsons after that and I got myself the vaseline whitening lotion! I really hope it works yea?
And we both spent the rest of our days at home,
I really had a blast today, looking forward to next week!
XO<3
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Stay home saturday!
Went for my job interview at guardian today and thank God everything went well!
I am starting next week, prolly on friday or saturday,
Since Kak Hana booked me for expo exhibition!
Syukur Alhamdulillah, rezeki ;)
I am very much contented with everything God has given me and I swear I will work very hard for both school and work!
Yes, I know maybe to some working at such places might be rather degrading, but I don't care or give a damn so long as it's halal money and I can support myself, I am fine!
I have my family and friend's support so I don't mind about anything at all, thank God for everything he has given me!
School has been well too and I can't wait to graduate and get my diploma!
I really wanna apply for SQ Or Emirates, I know I have been saying this for oh so many times but I mean it really!
And my mom is happy everything is doing well for me,
I need to learn to be independent so there you go mom and dad!
And yes I lead a very simple life, and mom's a guardian manager while dad's a businessman but I have to learn the meaning of life!
Mom, you inspire me, and this is for you,
I love my family and friends to death, thank you for the moral support you have given me all this while,
XO<3
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
I just can't begin to explain how tough it is for me to be in this state!
I miss bestie so God damn much!
I can't do this any longer, I feel like a lost sheep without bestie!
I am not being exaggerating or anything but at the rate I am going, I can just die!
He's not there physically to listen to my complains or laugh with me,
Or even entertain or hug me or tell me everything will be okay!
I need him, I really need him!
I am beginning to miss everything that we do together!
God, why are you testing me in this manner?
I no longer have sephora, just my Ipod and me, and where's Buruma?
God, please hear my cry, please make me strong, please God please!
I can't bear to lose him anymore!
I really need buruma in my life, please help me be strong!
Whenever I turn left or right, I don't see anyone I know anymore, goodness!
It's crazy!
I hate going to school alone, I hate eating alone, gg to lecture and classes alone!
I need you buruma, I truly need you!
I have been silent because Its eating me up inside, please buruma,
Hear my cry ;(
ILYVVM <3
Thursday, October 21, 2010
So me and bestie went shopping!
Charles and Keith Warehouse Sale at Tai Sing St!
We came at about 11 am in the morning only to discover the whole place is packed!
Goodness gracious! I was so shocked!
Sale is where you can see women acting like monkeys from the zoo!
Me and bestie stand behind everyone who were literally pulling and pushing each other for the $9 worth of shoes!
Sadly, I didn't manage to get my leopard print bag but I got myself a zebra bag!
Super gorgeous!
I am a huge fan or C&K and thanks to bestie's friend, Adam for informing us about the sale!
So, thank you thank you thank you!
You made Miss Adams a happy girl, woohooo~
After which, went school to finalize my timetable, this semester would be rather relaxed so thank God for that!
I'm gonna work part time to occupy my time and I need an organizer, seriously!
I need to be dead serious this time, no more having fun!
I shall be disciplined!
I wanna ace my papers and get a diploma, this is my final chance to prove my worth!
I want to do my parents proud, daddy says, after dip, apply for SQ!
Wooohooo!
Pardon me for the sidetrack, after which we headed to MBS to meet Nowreen and Arab!
God, they look so good together, hopefully someday they get married and get gorgeous babies hehe!
I am soooooo happy for the both of them, and Reen baby, you always have my support, and ILY!
So I won't abandon you no more okay, xo<3
Auby
